Yeah, it’s
true for some of us.
If you
haven’t seen My Big Fat Greek Wedding, you should! Here’s the relevant clip
My dad was
THE only head of the house. His word over road everything. To be transparent,
he passed away last month and there is a lot of pent up feeling about him. He
had HIS way and if you didn’t go along, he’d nag, belittle, and even demand you
go along.
I’m an
adult, yes. But the brainwashing starts young. I don’t like conflict. I don’t
like fighting.
Reality
check, couples…heck friends fight. But with my parents, a fight was pointless.
Dad got his way.
Some people
have no idea how stressful fighting is when the winner is predetermined and there
is no compromise. No apologies. (Parents, please model this for your kids as
well!)
This is
pretty much how I want to react to conflict:
The blender so you
don’t hear it…my mom gave up fighting when I was pretty young but it was more a
tug of war…
Here’s a dumb
example. I’m in my SECOND home. I OWN as an adult. I had a pump bottle of
antibacterial hand sanitizer in the kitchen. A big one. It was visible over the
bar counter area. My dad said it looked TACKY.
I still get mad
about that. It’s MY house…
Why should I get
mad? It’s a comment. It’s decades of him getting his way. Decades of giving in
to avoid the negativity heaped on anyone in that house who dared to go against
him. As an adult it seems dumb but when it starts from birth…you really don’t
know any different and have to break the urge to keep the peace.
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